Great Valley Community PHY

(Partnership for Healthy Youth)

Your Community Coalition
 

“SO YOUR TEEN WANTS TO HAVE A PARTY…!

Tips that can greatly improve your chances of having a safe and successful one…”

By Dolores Hunter

Parenting Task Force

Great Valley Community Partnership for Healthy Youth

Hosting a teen’s party is more than a notion.  It is always a lot of work, but can be fun and safe.  There are parties going on in our school district every weekend (birthday celebrations, after prom parties, drama guild cast parties, pool parties, sleepovers, get-togethers just for fun).  We often hear about the ones that get out of hand.  But, rarely do we hear about those that go well…parties where the kids have a great time, the environment is safe and the parents maintain their sanity.  Over the years, I’ve been collecting stories about party experiences, a few of my own, some from friends and acquaintances, and magazine and newsletter articles.  My interest has always been to cull from those stories the characteristics common to successful teen parties!  What follows is the result of my research:

¨      Keep in mind “…the heavy responsibility we, as parents of teenagers, bear in trying to keep our children safe and sound.”  Suspicion With a Smile:  Hosting a Teen’s Party, by Claudia C. Donnelly

¨      Before saying yes, talk with your teen and maybe also with his/her close friends about the “party rules” and the “party plan” (see below).  If they are not willing to be supportive and responsible, NO PARTY!

¨      Come up with a list of those invited.  Submit that list to the kids and their parents before the party.  Note:  Only those on the list will be admitted…no word of mouth invitations.

¨      Write up the “party rules” and distribute to the kids and their parents along with the invite.

¨      Line up volunteers to help you chaperone the party.  You need more help than you think you need.  Chaperone duties:  monitor all exits, assist with admittance of guests, house perimeter sweeps…and, visit and enjoy time with other adult chaperones (good networking opportunity).  If you have enough chaperones, they can have a great social time and take turns performing the chaperone duties.

¨      Contact your local police and let them know that you are having a party.  Request that they patrol the area.  Notify the kids and their parents that the police will be patrolling.

¨      Notify your neighbors, particularly if you are having a large party.  This is done, first of all out of courtesy, but also because your neighbors can be extra eyes and ears.

¨      If most of the kids invited are not well known to you and the chaperones, create a password that only those invited should give at the door.  If you are using a guest list and checking off as they arrive, this will not be necessary.

¨      “Party Rules” differ based upon the season (strictly inside party vs. in and out of doors) and also based on the type of party (sleepover vs. 3-4 hour party).

¨      Sleepovers: 

¨      No alcohol or other drugs will be provided or permitted (smoking?)

¨      No coming and going after arrival  (set a morning departure time)

¨      Male/female?

¨      Sleeping arrangements monitored

¨      Collect car keys

¨      Regular party:

¨      No alcohol or other drugs will be provided or permitted (smoking?)

¨      No coming and going after arrival (if you leave you may not return)

¨      Clearly stated end time

¨      No admittance if your name is not on the list (or use password idea)

¨      This is a quote from an invitation (with rules) sent by parents to the parents of those invited to a post-prom sleepover party:  “This is a great group of kids, and they deserve to have a great time!  We take them being in our care very seriously, that is why once they are here, they are here for the night.”  The same sentiment can be expressed in an invitation to a regular party as a prelude to the “party rules.”

When your son or daughter comes to you and says, “Can I have a party?”… don’t panic, but do not take those words lightly.  Remember what you’ve read here and know…

IT CAN BE DONE…IT HAS BEEN DONE…YOU CAN DO IT!